I want to start this by saying: You are priceless. I know sometimes life feels heavy, and the world can be unforgiving, but I need you to hear me when I say this: You are so, so valuable. The beauty, the strength, the power, the grace, and the resilience that you carry within you—there is nothing else like it in this world. You are a queen above all queens, and I am here to remind you of that today.
Yet, for all of our magnificence, why do we, as Black women, sometimes judge and tear each other down? Why do we create standards for each other that we would never dream of holding anyone else to? Why is it so easy to see another sister’s struggles and flaws and not offer the love and understanding we would give to anyone else? Why do we often fail to lift each other up, to embrace each other, to see the beauty in our differences?
Why Do We Judge Each Other?
I know there are times when we might feel like we have to compete, that there isn’t enough space at the table for all of us. We see one sister shining, and we begin to question if we’re doing enough, or if we’ll ever reach the same level of success. But here's the truth: There is no competition between us. We are not rivals. Your success doesn’t diminish my own, and my success doesn’t take anything away from you.
When we judge each other, we forget that we are all walking a difficult road. We forget the history, the trauma, the weight of generations that we carry. We forget that the pressures of this world are constantly trying to tell us who we should be, how we should act, and what we should look like. But you don’t have to fit into anyone’s mold to be valuable. You are beautiful in the way that only you can be. You are enough as you are, and so is she.
Why Do We Create Standards For Each Other?
Why do we sometimes hold each other to impossible standards—standards that we would never impose on anyone else? Why do we demand that our sisters be perfect, strong, unbothered, when we know that perfection doesn’t exist? We see the strength in each other, but we sometimes forget that strength doesn’t mean we have to do everything on our own, or that we can’t break down from time to time.
We need to stop policing each other’s choices, and instead, start supporting one another. Let’s love our sisters for who they are, flaws and all. We should be able to cry, to rest, to heal without feeling like we are any less strong. Our pain does not make us weak. Our vulnerability is just as powerful as our resilience.
Why Don’t We Help Each Other?
There are moments when we’re all guilty of not showing up for each other the way we should. Maybe it’s because we’re too busy, too consumed with our own battles, or maybe we’re caught up in the fear of not having enough space, enough time, or enough resources to go around. But here’s the thing: There is enough room for all of us to rise together.
We need to help each other more. We need to celebrate each other’s wins and offer a shoulder to cry on when things aren’t going so well. We need to pull each other up when the world is trying to push us down. Sisterhood means showing up in the moments that matter, even if that means just showing up with a word of encouragement or a listening ear. We are our sisters’ keepers, and when one of us wins, we all win.
Why Are We So Sad?
I know that sometimes we feel sad, weary, and broken. Life can be exhausting, and sometimes the weight of the world—racism, microaggressions, the pressures of being a woman, a Black woman—can make us feel like we’re carrying too much. But I want to remind you: It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay to sit with your sadness, to take a moment to rest, to cry, to feel. You are entitled to your feelings. But in the midst of your sadness, I need you to remember that you are not alone. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself. Lean on your sisters when you need to. We are here for you, and we will lift you when you can’t lift yourself.
Why Are We So Angry?
Anger is a natural response to the injustices we face. It’s a response to being underestimated, undervalued, and constantly fighting to be seen for who we truly are. But I want to remind you that anger doesn’t have to be destructive. It can be the fire that drives us toward change, toward healing, toward growth.
Channel that anger into something powerful, something positive. Use it as fuel to break down the walls that have been built around us. Let it inspire you to rise higher and to demand the respect and space you deserve. Let your anger turn into action. You are a force, and no one can ignore the strength of a Black woman who knows her worth.
We Should Love Each Other More
There is no reason why we should be anything but loving toward one another. The world already tries to break us down every single day, so we should be the ones who build each other up. Love is the foundation of sisterhood, and it’s what will sustain us through the hard times. We need to be kind, patient, and gentle with each other—because when we love each other, we give ourselves permission to be human.
You Are So Beautiful When You Smile
Sister, your smile lights up the room. There is no one else like you, and your beauty shines from the inside out. I see the way you pour your heart into your family, your friends, your work. I see you striving for greatness and giving so much of yourself to the world. And even when you feel unseen, I want you to know: You are seen.
We Should Embrace Each Other Often
Don’t wait for the world to give you the validation you deserve. Embrace yourself, embrace your sisters, and lift each other up—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Hug each other, check in on one another, share the love that flows so freely in your heart. When we embrace each other, we heal each other.
You Are a Queen Above All Queens
Do you know who you are? You are royalty. You are the blood of queens and ancestors who fought, bled, and sacrificed so that you could stand tall. There is no one who shines like you. You were born to stand out. So walk like the queen you are, because you deserve the world’s respect, admiration, and love.
Keep Going: You Are a Hero
The road can be long, the struggle real, and the weight of everything you carry can sometimes feel unbearable. But I need you to know that you are a hero. You are not only making a difference in your own life but in the lives of the people around you—your family, your friends, your community.
I see the work you’re putting in, the sacrifices you’re making, and the dreams you’re chasing. I believe in you, even when you can’t see your own potential. You can achieve everything you desire. Success is within your reach, and you have everything you need inside of you to make it happen.
Sister, you are enough. You are worthy of all the love, success, and happiness that this world has to offer. Let’s stop the judgment, the fighting, and the silence. Let’s lift each other up, embrace each other, and support each other like the queens we are. The world cannot break us, because we are unbreakable.
I believe in you. You are my sister, and together, we rise.
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